


Nothing Without You

by GeminiBee99



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Music, Intervention, M/M, Post-Time Skip, daisuga is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28133940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeminiBee99/pseuds/GeminiBee99
Summary: Hinata and Kageyama go through a messy breakup after moving in together. But it doesn't take long for them to realize but being apart might be even worse than being together.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Nothing Without You

“That must be the doorbell! I’ll get it!”

In the beginning, Kageyama and Hinata felt great about moving in together; in fact, they thought it was the most logical next step in their relationship. They had been together for three years now, and they were both working adults, so living together would be no problem. It didn’t matter that their time would be consumed playing on Division 1 volleyball teams that would potentially face each other one day: they had agreed from the moment they were offered their positions that their professional lives would not cross paths with their love life. Buying an apartment together was a new adventure that both of them were ready to embark on. At least, they  _ thought  _ they were ready.

Hinata bore a huge grin as he carried two bags of takeout into the box-littered space that would eventually become their living room. “Why are you so excited about takeout food?” Kageyama asked skeptically, taking one of the bags and immediately digging for his order.

“This was just the first time that somebody rang  _ our  _ doorbell in  _ our  _ apartment!” Hinata explained with sparkling eyes. Kageyama blinked and paused for a moment to think that statement over. Maybe that  _ was  _ a little exciting. A faint smile appeared on his lips. “I guess it was,” he agreed.

Exhausted from a long day of moving in, neither of the boys felt up to locating and setting up their kitchen table, so they made do with eating on the floor, using one of the many boxes as a table. Hinata stopped just before bringing his chopsticks to his mouth, and grinned even wider. “This is our first meal in our new apartment!” he realized. Kageyama glanced down at his noodles and frowned.

“Not a very exciting first meal,” he lamented. But Hinata shook his head.

“I think it’s perfect! I mean, eating takeout on the floor... I’m definitely going to remember this ten years from now.” Kageyama wasn’t so sure that he would  _ want  _ to remember such a mundane scene ten years from now, but he did have to admit it had some charm. After all, it’s not like he and Hinata had ever been especially refined, neither as individuals or as a couple. There was nothing special about the food itself, yet both of them found that it was somehow one of the best meals they’d ever shared together. 

Unfortunately, the novelty of having a new home that belonged to just the two of them, and the feeling of domestic bliss that came with it, didn’t last forever.

There wasn’t one particular thing that led to their falling out. It was more like a series of subtle changes and irritations that neither of them especially noticed, until they built up and exploded. The first sign that something was amiss was when they stopped kissing each other good-bye when they left for work in the morning. Hinata was the one to notice this, but he chalked it up to them both always being in a hurry. He mentioned it to Kageyama anyway, and was met with an insincere apology that showed he didn’t even notice the change nor think that it was a big deal. Still, he did at least make an effort to make sure he gave Hinata a peck before he left now, although these kisses were now rushed and cold. 

“You left before I could even say good-bye this morning,” Hinata complained when they arrived home one day.

“I had to get going, and you were taking too long. Did you want me to be late for work just to give you a stupid kiss? Here, I’ll give you one now to make up for it,” Kageyama snapped in response. He grabbed Hinata aggressively by the shoulder and leaned down to kiss him, but Hinata pushed his face away with the palm of his hand.

“It’s not the kiss that’s the problem, it’s the gesture that counts. If you leave without saying good-bye, it feels like you don’t even care that I’m here,” he argued. He couldn’t tell if he was more angry or sad.

“That’s ridiculous. I know you’ll be here when I get back, so what does it matter if I say good-bye or not when I leave?” Kageyama countered with irritation. He had no idea how much he was taking that statement for granted.

At some point, they all but stopped speaking to each other at home except for mundane comments like “Can you pass the salt?” or “Shower’s free.” Again, Hinata attributed this sudden mutual coldness to exhaustion: they were both far too tired after work to have a conversation. Surely this was why their sex life disappeared, too. And why neither of them felt like kissing each other at all anymore, be it in saying good-bye or for any other reason. Yes, they were just too worn out. That was all. It would pass once they got used to their routines.

Then the fighting started. Of course bickering was nothing new to them: that had been a constant in their relationship from the moment they met each other. But somehow this was different. There was more venom behind their words, more genuine anger. The fights would start over the most trivial things, like Hinata forgetting to take out the trash or Kageyama leaving expired milk in the fridge, and last for a disproportionate amount of time. Things that could have easily been resolved with a “Sorry, I’ll fix that” blew up into intense arguments filled with name-calling, finger jabbing, and the occasional thrown object. Eventually even their simple small talk stopped, because every word out of either of their mouths seemed to act as a match tossed into a pile of kindling.

Hinata had no idea that something was boiling inside of him until it abruptly spilled over.

About six months or so after moving in together, Kageyama didn’t come home one night. At first, Hinata was curious about what was taking Kageyama so long, but not too worried; it was likely that he had simply stayed late to practice more. But once dinnertime rolled around, Hinata found it strange that he still hadn’t heard anything from him. Surely he had to be done with work by now, and if he had stopped somewhere for dinner he probably would have texted Hinata to let him know not to wait up for him or save him a plate. Doing his best not to imagine the worst, Hinata sent him a few texts. When an hour passed and none of his messages had been read, he decided to call him. No answer. So he called him again, and then again. And again and again and again. After three hours and 50+ missed calls, Hinata found himself in a full-out panic. 

Finally, a little after 11:30 PM, Kageyama showed up. “Sorry I’m late,” he said casually as he took off his shoes, as if he had just strolled in 15 minutes late. Hinata had sprung to his feet as soon as he heard the doorknob rattle, and now that Kageyama was standing in front of him, he began shaking with emotion. He was relieved and pissed all at once, and couldn’t decide if he wanted to hug him or punch him, so he did both. “Ow! What are you doing?” Kageyama exclaimed as Hinata threw his arms around his neck just moments after socking him right in the chest.

“Geez, I was so  _ worried  _ about you! Where the hell were you?!” Hinata shrieked. He didn’t even realize that tears were streaming down his face.

“I went out with the team after practice. We got dinner and then went to karaoke,” Kageyama explained nonchalantly, peeling Hinata off of him. 

“Okay, cool, great! And why didn’t you tell me that?!” Hinata clung to Kageyama’s shirt even as Kageyama pried his arms off of his neck.

Kageyama shrugged, simultaneously bothered and yet unaffected by his boyfriend’s frantic tears. “My phone was dead. I told Hoshiumi to message you on Instagram, but I guess he never did.”

Hinata’s shoulders slumped. He had considered calling Kageyama’s teammates to ask if they had heard from him, but he didn’t have any of their phone numbers. He hadn’t even thought about reaching out to them on social media. The fact that Kageyama did at least think of some way to inform Hinata of his whereabouts  _ almost  _ made him feel better; but just almost. “No, he didn’t," he huffed bitterly, rubbing his eyes and then clenching his hands into fists. "Why didn't you check with him to make sure he got a hold of me?"

"Why would I? I couldn't have known that he would forget," Kageyama countered. Suddenly very tired, he tried to push his way past Hinata, but Hinata grabbed him firmly by the arm.

"But wouldn't you think he would have told you if I responded or not?" The tears continued to fall from his eyes, though at a much lesser frequency. By this point the anger was definitely surpassing the concern.

"No, not really. I figured you just responded with 'okay, thanks' or something,” Kageyama stated logically. He yanked his arm free and added, “It's not that big a deal."

He was right, but that didn’t make Hinata feel any better. "It is  _ too _ a big deal! I was so worried about you!"

"Sorry." The lack of emotion in his voice only made Hinata that much more emotional. Kageyama made to walk across the room, but Hinata leapt in front of him, blocking his path. 

"Are you really?" the redhead asked skeptically. 

Kageyama sighed and gave a slight roll to his eyes. "I just said I am, didn't I?" 

Hinata narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "That doesn't mean you meant it."

Now it was Kageyama’s turn to start getting mad. "Okay, fine. No, I'm not really sorry,” he admitted bitterly. “You're overreacting, Hinata."

That comment was the final straw. Rather than wipe the last tears from his eyes, Hinata allowed them to dry right there on his face as he began to tremble with rage. "Overreacting?! How am I overreacting?! I thought you were lost, or hurt, or  _ dead!"  _ he shrieked, uncrossing his arms and clenching his hands into fists.

"And that's exactly what I mean by overreacting." This time, instead of attempting to simply sidestep around Hinata, Kageyama shoved him out of his way and stormed into the next room.

"Well ex _ cuse _ me for caring about my boyfriend's wellbeing!" Hinata shouted after him.

"Can't you trust me to take care of myself?" Kageyama yelled back.

Now Hinata hurried after him. "Of course I trust you! But accidents happen all the time!" 

Annoyed to see that Hinata had followed him, Kageyama groaned and changed directions. In their tiny apartment, though, that wasn’t enough to shake Hinata off his tail. "Nothing happened, though. I'm here now, aren't I? Isn't that enough?"

"You're missing the point!" Hinata reached out a hand to Kageyama’s retreating form. He wasn’t entirely sure what he hoped to accomplish; he just felt like he needed to touch him, maybe grab his shirt and slow him down for a second. But before he could make contact with any part of Kageyama’s body, Kageyama spun around and grabbed him by the wrist. The abrupt action seemed to surprise both of them. 

"Fine, then tell me what the point is," Kageyama demanded through clenched teeth.

Hinata wrenched himself free of Kageyama’s grasp and absently rubbed his wrist, without even acknowledging just how much it hurt. "I've been over here worrying myself sick, and you don't even seem to care! The _least_ you could have done was called me from somebody's phone to make sure I knew where you were!"

"I don't have your phone number memorized." Kageyama hadn’t been invested in the conversation from the start, but at this point he was absolutely over it. He turned back around and continued to stomp over to the bathroom. 

" _ Still!  _ You could have-” Hinata cut himself off with a groan, and tousled his hair in frustration. “Ugh, why am I even explaining this to you?! What's so wrong about me worrying about my boyfriend?!"

"It's not like I was gone for  _ days.  _ It was one night. You don't need to know where I am every second of the day." Before Hinata could follow him into the bathroom, Kageyama slammed the door in his face. If not for Hinata’s quick reflexes, the impact would have broken his nose.

"God, you're the WORST!" Hinata screamed, pounding a fist against the now-locked door.

"Fine, fine, you're right. I'm the worst. Can I go get a shower now? I'm tired,” Kageyama huffed from the bathroom, already stripping out of his clothes. 

With his fist still lingering where he’d landed the punch, Hinata closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the door, right beneath his fist. "Do you even want to be with me?" he muttered, just loudly enough for Kageyama to hear him.

The question made Kageyama physically pause. "Where did that come from?" he asked, startled. In all honesty, Hinata had no idea where that came from. The words had left his mouth without his brain even thinking them. But now that he had asked the question, he might as well pursue the answer.

"Well? Do you?" Hinata repeated sternly.

Another pause. "Sure. Yeah. Whatever." With that, Kageyama resumed undressing and turned to start running the water in the shower. 

Hinata began to tremble, and gave the door another aggravated smack. "Am I supposed to be convinced by that?!" he shrieked. 

Abandoning the faucet for the moment, Kageyama stood and shouted at the closed door, "I don't care, okay?! Stay with me or don't, I don't really care anymore. I'm busy, and so are you. I don't have time for all your dramatics."

"I am not dramatic! I'm just.... excitable, is all!" Hinata insisted defensively, finally letting his arm fall to his side.

"Call it what you want, but you're still exhausting." Kageyama returned to the shower and turned the water back on. He just wanted Hinata to go away.

"If I'm so exhausting, why don't I just leave? Is that what you want?!" Hinata threatened. He hadn’t even noticed that he had started crying again. 

Kageyama let the faucet run for a few seconds, and at first it seemed as though he might not have heard Hinata. But that was impossible, considering even their neighbors three doors down probably heard him. "Sure, go ahead. At least then I'll get a good nights' sleep."

"I  _ hate  _ you, Tobio Kageyama!" Hinata shrieked.

"Whatever." And with that Kageyama stepped into the shower and tried to empty his mind of all thoughts of his troublesome boyfriend.

By the time he got out of the shower, Hinata was gone.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

It was 2:00 in the morning when Hinata arrived at his parents’ house, carrying with him a backpack, two hastily packed suitcases, and a broken heart. He no longer had a key to the house, since it had been half a year since he’d lived there, so he stood uncomfortably on the porch in the dark, debating whether or not he should ring the doorbell. His family wouldn’t be happy about being woken up in the middle of the night, but surely they would forgive him once he explained his situation... He decided to risk it. Several minutes later, Natsu, disheveled with sleep, opened the door. Her tired eyes widened and blinked with surprise when she saw her brother standing there. “Nii-chan? What are you doing here?”

“It’s, um, a long story. I’m really sorry to wake you up so late, but... Can I crash here tonight?” Hinata asked awkwardly.

Natsu sleepily rubbed her eyes. “Sure, of course. Come on in.” She opened the door and stepped aside so that Hinata could enter. 

She was exhausted, but she couldn’t just go to sleep after her brother suddenly showed up in the dead of night, looking like a lost puppy. She peeked into his bedroom, which had been left unoccupied for months, and saw him sitting on the bed and staring absently into space. Natsu slipped into the room and cautiously sat beside him. “Did something happen, Nii-chan...?” she asked gently.

Hinata couldn’t bring himself to look at her. “We, um... Tobio and I... We sort of, well... We had a fight.” It shouldn’t have been so difficult for him to articulate this: after all, he and Tobio fought all the time. But it was abundantly obvious that this fight wasn’t like their usual ones. The consequences of the things they had said were much, much heavier than before, and it didn’t look like this was something they could bounce from anytime soon, if ever. The adrenaline from arguing and packing his things and catching a train in the dead of night didn’t leave Hinata with much time to think about what was happening, but now that he was sitting in his childhood bedroom, miles away from the home he had made with his boyfriend, the gravity of the situation finally dawned on him. Neither of them had explicitly said it, but their responses seemed to point to one conclusion: they hadn’t simply had a fight, but rather, they had broken up.

The reality of this realization hit Hinata like a ton of bricks. Before he could even process it, he had hunched over and dissolved into tears. Natsu gingerly reached out and began to stroke his hair, and he immediately collapsed, sobbing into her lap like a child. He cried in that position until he fell asleep. 

Hinata didn’t wake until well after noon the following day. Natsu and his parents were already at school and work, but evidently Natsu had informed the latter about Hinata’s presence because he came down the stairs to find breakfast wrapped up and waiting for him, along with a note reading “Welcome home, sweetie. -Mom.” He smiled at his mother’s kindness, but the smile was short lived.  _ Home... This isn’t my home, not anymore. I ran away from my home,  _ Hinata thought poignantly. 

He ate the prepared breakfast without much vigor. Neither he nor Kageyama were especially talented cooks and they tended to just grab something for breakfast from a convenience store on their way to work, so of course his mother’s home cooking tasted amazing... But the circumstances that had led him to this meal left too much of a bitter taste in his mouth for him to really enjoy it. 

This hadn’t been the first time that he’d woken up without Kageyama by his side: a lot of their arguments resulted in Kageyama sleeping on the couch, especially since one of the things that irked Kageyama the most about Hinata was how much he moved around in his sleep. Nevertheless, waking up alone stung especially painfully this time, possibly because a part of Hinata feared that he may never share a bed with Kageyama again. The thought made his heart hurt, but he didn’t even entertain the thought of trying to mend things. Hadn’t Kageyama made it clear enough that he didn’t care about him? Still, Hinata couldn’t help but feel a spark of hope when he checked his phone for missed calls or texts. This hope proved to be for nothing, though, because Kageyama had not tried to contact him. 

Unwilling to be left alone with his thoughts, Hinata decided to call someone, since he already had his phone in his hand. The first person to come to mind was naturally his best friend, Kenma. To Hinata’s relief, he picked up on the third ring. “Hey, Kenma! Are you busy right now?” Hinata asked, trying to sound as much like his normal cheerful self as possible.

At the moment, Kenma had just finished posting a stream to YouTube and was now taking a break by playing a different game on his GameBoy. “No, not really,” he answered honestly.

“Good, good. Cool. Can I uh, talk to you about something?” Hinata’s voice was already starting to fail him, and even while invested in his video game, Kenma didn’t fail to notice this. He closed his GameBoy and shifted his phone from his shoulder to his hand.

“Of course.”

“Awesome, thanks. So, here’s the thing... Tobio and I had a, um... falling out last night. Like, a really bad one. And I sort of... left,” Hinata confessed.

“You ‘sort of’ left?” Kenma asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, I mean... You know, I  _ left.  _ I’m at my parents’ house right now. I got here last night.”

Kenma’s eyes widened slightly. He had never physically borne witness to Hinata and Kageyama’s fights (though of course he saw them bicker all the time), but he had received countless texts and calls from Hinata about their aftermaths. Sometimes Kageyama would sleep on the couch, and sometimes one of them would make an angry run to the convenience store to blow off steam, but neither of them had ever  _ left _ . “Oh wow... Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine... Well, okay, no, not really,” Hinata admitted hesitantly. He dug his knuckles into his eyes before tears could start to form. “I really messed up this time. I mean, I didn’t  _ mess up,  _ ‘cause I don’t think I did anything  _ wrong,  _ but...” He quickly summarized the events of the previous night, then shakily concluded with, “I think we’re over, Kenma. I think we... broke up.”

After taking a moment to fully process the story, Kenma carefully asked, “I’ve been wondering this for a while, Shoyo... What is it that you like about Kageyama?”

The question took Hinata aback. “What do I like about him? Well...” He had honestly never thought about it objectively: at one point he realized that he had a crush on Kageyama, and that crush developed into a full-blown attraction that eventually turned into love. He had never wondered  _ why  _ he loved him _.  _ “He’s super reliable, for one thing. I know he’ll always be there when I need him to be. And even though he’s a total dumbass, he works crazy hard at the things he’s passionate about. He inspires me to do my best, too,” he finally said.

“Hmm,” Kenma hummed pensively. “So, it sounds like those are things you liked about him when he was your setter. But what do you like about him as your  _ boyfriend? _ ”

Hinata had been pretty confident in his answer, so this argument surprised him even more than the original question. “What?”

“He was your setter before he was your boyfriend, right? That’s how your relationship started out. You could always rely on him to set the ball for you, and he worked hard to improve as a volleyball player, and that inspired you to be a better player too. But that isn’t who he is to you anymore. You guys play for different volleyball teams. He sets for someone else, and you receive someone else’s sets, so in terms of your relationship, it doesn’t matter how you feel about him as a setter,” Kenma explained sagely.

“But... But it’s not like he becomes a totally different person when he plays volleyball. Like, Tobio is still Tobio, whether he’s playing volleyball or not,” Hinata reasoned, his head spinning.

“I know. But even though he’s the same person, he plays a different role on the court than he does  _ off  _ the court. Just because you can trust him to get a serve over the net doesn’t mean you can trust him not to cheat on you.”

Hinata suddenly felt like he’d been shot right in the heart, and he almost dropped his phone. “Do you think he was cheating on me?!" he shrieked with a gasp.

"No, no, that was just an example,” Kenma quickly clarified.

Hinata's shoulders fell in relief. “Oh.” A brief pause passed between them. "I think I know what you're saying. But, the thing is... Volleyball is Tobio's entire life. Like, it's EVERYTHING to him. So the things I love about him when he plays volleyball, are the things I love about him all the time. I mean, it's not like volleyball is his whole persona, but his volleyball personality  _ is  _ his personality. Does that make any sense?"

"I guess so. But still...” Kenma still wasn’t satisfied, not when his best friend’s happiness was at stake. In all honesty, he had never been all that impressed with Kageyama: he tolerated him because Hinata loved him so much, but if he was just going to hurt him like this... “Does he even make you happy, Shoyo? You can't possibly be happy when you argue all the time."

"That's the thing! When we're  _ not _ fighting, he makes me happier than anyone in the whole world. Except for maybe you, but y'know, that's a different kind of happy. When I'm with Tobio, I feel like.... like I want to be by his side forever, even if we fight so much. I just wish we  _ didn't  _ fight as much as we do," Hinata sighed.

“And why is it that you fight so much?”

“I... I don’t know.” Hinata threw back his head and let out a whine. “Now my head hurts.”

“I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to act like your therapist,” Kenma apologized.

Hinata sat upright and shook his head. “No, no, you’re fine... I appreciate it, honestly. I guess I have some stuff to think over, huh?” He forced a pained sort of half-smile.

“Yeah. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.” 

“I will. Thanks for listening to all my problems, Kenma,” Hinata said with a weak little laugh.

“Of course. Text me if anything comes up, okay?”

“Got it. Talk to ya later.” Hinata hung up the phone and ran a hand over his face. He knew Kenma meant well, and the questions he asked certainly were important... But Hinata was worried that if he sat down and seriously gave them some thought, he wouldn’t like the answers he came up with.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

A week passed by without Hinata hearing anything from Kageyama. Of course, he hadn’t made any effort to reach out himself, but he still wasn’t convinced that he had anything to apologize for and was stubbornly hoping against hope that Kageyama would be the one to come forward to patch things up. But he didn’t. 

The commute to volleyball practice was much longer from his childhood home than it had been from the apartment, and the lengthy train rides left Hinata alone with his thoughts. Most of the time those thoughts centered around Kageyama. Hinata found himself plagued by dreams about him every single night, some embarrassingly lewd, others as simple as the two of them eating breakfast together. He woke up each morning exhausted and full of longing until one day he couldn’t take it anymore.

It was pure impulse that led Hinata to hop on a train that would take him to the apartment he had once shared with Kageyama, so when the doors closed and the train began to move, Hinata realized that he had no idea what he was doing. What did he even hope to accomplish by visiting Kageyama? Did he plan on getting down on his knees and begging him to take him back? That definitely wasn’t the case. So then did he just want to see his face again? What would even be the point of that, if seeing him would just cause even more pain? But it was too late to turn back now. He decided with silent resignation that he would go through with this, whatever “this” was.

Yet the courage he had managed to muster up failed him as soon as he found himself standing in front of the apartment building. His legs shook as he climbed the stairs up to their—no, Kageyama’s—floor, and by the time he made it to the door, he suddenly felt the urge to turn and run away and put this stupid endeavor behind him. Before he could flee and pretend like he’d never made this trip, however, the door abruptly swung open, and he stood face-to-face with his (alleged) ex. 

It was hard to say which one of them was more shocked to see the other, despite the fact that Hinata had technically come all this way with the intention of seeing Kageyama. They stared at each other in a stunned, wide-eyed silence until Kageyama finally asked, “What are you doing here?”

_ Good question.  _ Hinata did mental somersaults trying to come up with a reason. “I-I, uh, found something of yours in my stuff, and I came to give it back. I must’ve accidentally picked it up when I, you know... left,” he eventually stammered out.

“Oh,” Kageyama said flatly. His face was a blank mask, and Hinata couldn’t tell if he was relieved, or confused, or angry, or something else entirely. “...So, where is it?”

“Where’s what?”

Kageyama’s eye twitched slightly, suggesting that maybe  _ annoyance  _ was what he was feeling. “The thing that you’re giving back to me.”

Hinata quickly realized what a stupid excuse that had been. He awkwardly patted his pockets then nervously chuckled, “Crap, I must have dropped it. I, uh, guess I’ll go back home then.” But he made no move to walk away. Instead, he stood there staring at the ground, face burning and heart thudding under the pressure of the uncomfortable atmosphere surrounding them. 

“...Well, I’m going to head out, then. Bye,” Kageyama finally mumbled, casting his gaze off to the side in order to avoid looking at the person before him. He took a step forward and started to walk around Hinata, only for Hinata to reach out and grab his wrist without looking up from the ground. The action took both of them off guard; Hinata’s body had moved on its own. He closed his eyes tightly as he began to tremble a bit.

“Wait. Can we... Can we talk? About what happened?” he forced himself to say.

Kageyama seemed to go limp in Hinata’s grasp. “I don’t know what to say about it,” he said in a quiet, uneasy voice.

“Neither do I, but we can’t just  _ not  _ talk about it. I mean, what even  _ are  _ we? Are we... broken up?”

A big part of Hinata expected Kageyama to respond with, “Yeah, we are.” So he was quite surprised when Kageyama’s actual answer was, “I... I don’t know.”

Hinata finally brought himself to open his eyes and look up at Kageyama. Kageyama was still looking away from him, but he wore an evidently pained expression. “We can’t just leave things like this.”

“I know that. But I’m not ready to... sit down and talk, just the two of us,” Kageyama admitted.

“Then let’s not talk with just the two of us. What if we ask someone to be a mediator? Like... Maybe Suga-senpai?” Hinata suggested, loosening his grip on Kageyama’s wrist. Kageyama didn’t pull his arm away; he just nodded slowly.

“...Okay. Let’s do that,” he agreed.

Hinata couldn’t help but smile with relief. “Should I call him right now-?” 

Kageyama simply nodded again. “I’m not in a hurry, I was just heading to the convenience store.” So, Hinata took out his phone and dialed Suga’s number, putting the phone on speaker.

“Hinata? It’s not too often that I get a call from you,” Suga answered after just a few rings. It sounded like he was smiling.

“Hi, Suga-senpai! It’s been a long time since we’ve talked on the phone, huh?” Hinata tried to keep up his typical optimistic tone, but it didn’t last very long. “I have a favor to ask you. Could... Kageyama and I meet up with you sometime this week?” he asked hesitantly.

Sugawara tilted his head curiously. “Sure, but can I ask why?”

“Um, well...” Hinata glanced up at Kageyama, who quickly looked away. “We sort of had a... disagreement. And we were hoping you could help us, I dunno, talk through it.”

Although he of course wasn’t happy to hear that his friends were having relationship problems, Suga grinned, proudly placing a hand on his hip. “An intervention, huh? You’ve come to the right place. I’ve broken up and resolved  _ tons  _ of fights on the playground at my school, so I’ve gotten quite skilled at mediating.” His beaming smirk dimmed down to a normal smile. “But yes, I would love to help. Would it be easier for me to meet you at your place?”

Hinata flinched, seeing as their apartment hadn’t really been “their place” for more than a week now. Kageyama still wouldn’t look at him. “Not necessarily,” he murmured uncomfortably.

Suga raised an eyebrow inquisitively, but didn’t question it. “Alright, then how about you come to my and Daichi’s house?” he offered.

Kageyama finally turned to Hinata and gave a small nod of approval. “Works for us! How about Saturday?” Hinata suggested, forcing his upbeat voice back out.

“Sounds good to me. I’ll make cookies!”

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

A few days later, Kageyama and Hinata sat in opposite-facing armchairs in the living room of the Sugawara-Sawamura household, with Suga sitting on the sofa between them. Daichi was away at work, leaving the house to just the three of them. As promised, Suga had made cookies, but they lay untouched on a tray in front of them. Kageyama and Hinata both stared in opposite directions, arms crossed tightly, and there was palpable tension in the air. But Suga didn’t seem bothered by it.

“So, let me get this straight,” he began after Hinata had given him an overview of their situation (and was interrupted by Kageyama at least three times, thus their current stubborn refusal to look at each other). “It seems to me like most of your problems stem from a lack of communication and authenticity.” Remembering that neither of them had been the best students, he added, “In other words, you’re not clear with each other when you talk. Everything turns into a fight because you don’t know what the other is feeling.”

Neither Kageyama nor Hinata made any move to agree with or deny this analysis. After a moment, though, Hinata’s body loosened up slightly, and he turned to face Suga. “Is that how you and Daichi-senpai keep your relationship so strong, then? By being open with each other?” he asked earnestly.

“Oh no, it’s really the great sex that keeps us together,” Suga answered without missing a beat. This flippant response made Hinata choke on his own air and Kageyama’s face flush bright red with embarrassment, and both boys nearly fell out of their seats. Suga laughed heartily. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I mean, the sex  _ is _ great, of course...” Both his voice and his expression softened kindly. “But in all seriousness, we balance each other out. He keeps me grounded, and I tease him  _ just  _ enough to get a blush out of him. But if I go too far, he tells me, and I apologize and make sure to never cross that line again.” 

For a while, Kageyama and Hinata just sat there in silence, staring at the floor and digesting what Suga had told them, until he finally asked, “Why do you think it is that you two argue all the time?”

Surprisingly, Kageyama was the first one to respond. “It’s like... Shoyo is so passionate about  _ everything,  _ all the time, so I feel like I have to match that energy. But I’m not an energetic person, so the only way I know how to keep up with him is aggressively,” he admitted, clenching his fists. His honesty brought tears to Hinata’s eyes, which he quickly blinked away.

“Thank you for sharing that, Kageyama-kun. And what about you, Hinata? Why do  _ you  _ think you argue all the time?”  _ Maybe I should have become a couples’ counselor instead of an elementary school teacher,  _ Suga thought to himself. But he knew that now would not be an appropriate time to say that out loud; maybe later, when things deescalated.

Despite—or perhaps because of—Kageyama’s unexpectedly emotional response, Hinata found himself growing heated as he contemplated his own answer to the question. “I just... Tobio is a total perfectionist, so I want to, I dunno, meet his standards, I guess. I hate it when I feel like he’s looking down on me, so I try  _ really  _ hard to prove that I’m good enough, but he acts like he HAS to be better than me all the time.”

Kageyama narrowed his eyes and looked at Hinata for the first time since they’d arrived. “Are you saying everything is  _ my  _ fault?” 

Suga shot him a sharp look, but before he could intervene, Hinata retorted with, “No, that’s not what I’m saying! I don’t mind that you’re such a perfectionist tryhard. That’s part of what makes you  _ you.  _ And a lot of the time you push me to be the best version of myself, and I appreciate that. But... But I don’t want  _ everything  _ to be a competition. I don’t want  _ either  _ of us to feel like we have to prove that we’re good enough all the time. I-I just want us to be ourselves, and to be okay with that.” Hinata rubbed furiously at his eyes before more tears could appear. 

Suga nodded slowly, carefully formulating his advice. “A little friendly competition is fine and all, but it doesn’t need to manifest itself in constant fights. You have to remember that you can also trust and confide in each other whenever you need to. That’s what a relationship is all about, right? And you know, Kageyama,” he turned to the black-haired boy, “you  _ are  _ allowed to be nice to the person you love. There’s nothing wrong with letting down your walls and being vulnerable every once in a while, or even complimenting him on occasion. You don’t have to constantly try to one-up each other: if you both love each other, then there’s no need to prove yourselves all the time.” 

“...I compliment Hinata, sometimes...” Kageyama grumbled. But besides that, he didn’t have much of an argument to make. 

“Why don’t I give you guys some space to talk things out, just the two of you?” Suga suggested with a gentle smile. Both boys stared at him in alarm, but he had already gotten up and started making his way out of the room. “You’ll be fine,” he insisted with a dismissive wave of his hand while he disappeared into the kitchen.

A heavy silence ensued. Neither of them knew what to say, and they still couldn’t bring themselves to look at each other. Hinata was the one to break the silence. “...Um... You don’t have to match my energy all the time, you know. It’s totally fine if I’m energetic but you’re not,” he said awkwardly.

Kageyama sighed. “I don’t know, Shoyo... I think our personalities just aren't compatible."

“That’s not true!” Hinata exclaimed quickly, snapping his head up and finally looking at the other boy. His abrupt increase in volume startled Kageyama into looking up as well, and they made eye contact for a brief second before Kageyama glanced away. “You’re like the yin to my yang. We balance each other out. We  _ need  _ each other,” Hinata insisted. He had no idea where all of this passion was suddenly coming from, but now that it was out he couldn’t reel it back in.

“I mean... I guess so,” Kageyama conceded hesitantly. After a pause, he admitted, “I don’t... mind that you’re so energetic. I don’t have a problem with the way you are. But you’re just so talkative all the time and I can’t keep up, so sometimes I just... lash out, because I don’t know what else to say.”

“You don’t have to respond to every little thing I say... I know I talk a lot, so it wouldn’t be fair of me to expect you to keep up. I’ll be happy just as long as you listen to me, or at least let me talk! I would  _ much  _ rather you ask me to tone it down or stop talking than have you yell at me, or find out that you’re just ignoring me,” Hinata explained. The intensity of his emotions was building rapidly, and he clenched his fists tightly in his lap while fighting back tears. “I know you’re used to looking down on people, with your whole King of the Court thing... But I seriously hate it when you look down on  _ me.  _ Not just as a volleyball player, but as a person too. Suga-senpai’s right: I’m your  _ boyfriend.  _ If there’s one person in the world that you don’t have to prove yourself to, it’s me!” The tears started to overflow from his eyes and trail down his cheeks, and he made no move to stop them. “And look, I  _ know  _ that I’ll never be good enough for you. Ever since the day we met, I’ve been trying to catch up to you, even though you’ll always think you’re better than me. But... But even so... I want to be with you. I’m nothing without you, Tobio.” His voice cracked on his final sentence.

Now it was Kageyama’s turn to say, “That’s not true.” He sat up straight and stared into Hinata’s eyes, holding his gaze even from across the room. “ _None_ of that is true. If anything, _I’m_ nothing without _you._ You know how I am. Volleyball is everything to me. But, you... You’re... You’re the first thing I’ve ever really cared about that _isn’t_ volleyball. Being rivals is so much easier for me to understand than being in love, so sometimes I treat you like you’re someone I need to defeat. But under all my bravado, I...” He lowered his voice to a barely audible murmur. “I’m scared that I’m not good enough for you.”

Hinata’s eyes widened. “Why haven’t you ever told me that?” he sniffled, genuinely stunned by this confession.

“Because it’s embarrassing, idiot!” Kageyama snapped. He buried his face in his hands to hide his own tears and had to speak with a forceful tone to keep his voice from trembling. “I’m just a stupid asshole who doesn’t know how to be honest with you. And because of that, I might lose you forever.”

Hinata reached out his hand to him in a comforting gesture, even though they were too far apart for him to actually touch him. “You're not going to lose me. Even if you  _ are  _ a stupid asshole,” he promised with a feeble smile. Kageyama was too relieved by Hinata’s first statement to be offended by the second one. He slowly lifted his face from his hands and gave Hinata a pleading sort of look. “ ...I guess we're both idiots, huh?" Hinata laughed weakly and wiped at his tears with the heel of his hand. Kageyama did the same but with the sleeve of his jacket.

“Yeah...” Kageyama’s cheeks turned a light pink, and he glanced sheepishly off to the side. “...I’m sorry, Shoyo. For... Everything.”

Hinata’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t remember ever hearing Kageyama give such a sincere apology, but he knew him well enough to tell that he truly was, from the bottom of his heart, sorry. A new wave of emotion surged through Hinata’s body, and before either of them could process what was happening he had thrown himself across the room and into Kageyama’s lap.

“Oy, careful! Suga-senpai will get mad if you break something,” Kageyama warned. He apprehensively wrapped his arms around Hinata, as if afraid that he wouldn’t be allowed to. When Hinata didn’t protest, though, Kageyama gave in and squeezed him tightly, enveloping his mouth in a kiss. 

When they pulled away, Hinata’s eyes were shining with tears, but this time they were from joy. “I’m really happy that you told me all that. I know you don’t  _ mean  _ to be a jackass... But while we’re being honest with each other, I just wish you’d show me a  _ little  _ more affection,” he admitted with a smile.

Kageyama almost responded with something snarky, but he paused and then said, “Okay. But not in public, alright? That’s way too embarrassing.”

“Deal!” Hinata agreed cheerfully. He linked his fingers behind Kageyama’s neck and pulled him down for another kiss. “And no more covering up our feelings, okay? From now on, we’re gonna be honest with each other,” he added when they came up for air, their noses still touching. 

“Got it.” Kageyama certainly had no intention of  _ always  _ being as vulnerable as he had been just now, but if it kept Hinata from leaving him again, he could probably handle being a little more open from time to time. At the moment, though, he mostly just wanted to kiss Hinata enough to make up for all the time that they were apart.

Meanwhile, Suga peeked at them from around the corner and smiled. “Yup, I should  _ definitely  _ be a couples’ counselor,” he said to himself.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Hinata spent one final night at his parents’ house, then moved back into his and Kageyama’s apartment the following morning. Kageyama was waiting for him by the door when he arrived. “Welcome back,” he said as casually as he could manage, though he couldn’t keep a blush from rising to his face. 

“You have  _ no idea  _ how badly I’ve been wanting to hear you say that again,” Hinata sighed ecstatically. With a wide grin, he tossed his baggage aside and threw himself into Kageyama’s arms, wrapping his legs around Kageyama’s waist. Kageyama responded by holding him up under the thighs, skillfully closing the door with his foot, and turning around so that his back was against a hard surface. Hinata dug his fingers into Kageyama’s hair and they kissed until they were dizzy. Still clinging to Kageyama like a koala, Hinata buried his face in Kageyama’s shoulder and inhaled deeply.

Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you sniffing me? What are you, a dog?” He wasn’t actually as disgusted as he sounded, and Hinata knew this.

“I just missed your smell so much!” Hinata exclaimed honestly.

“...Yeah, I missed yours too,” Kageyama admitted under his breath. He nestled his face against Hinata’s hair and held him even tighter. As he melted under the sensation of Hinata’s touch and scent, he silently vowed to himself to never again do anything to drive this boy that he loved more than anything in the world away. Hinata was the sun to his moon, and he knew now more than ever that he was nothing without that warm, bright star in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> The scene with Suga’s intervention is partially inspired by/based on Be Kind by Halsey and Marshmello.


End file.
